


to-do lists

by dongwoman



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: Fluff, Mostly Jason/Reader Centric, Multi, Reader-Insert, honestly who knows at this point, jason in a dorky baby per usual, reader - Freeform, roy is roy, saved in my drafts but we're just gonna run with it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 14:10:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12134175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dongwoman/pseuds/dongwoman
Summary: jason todd does not pride himself on either his foresight or planning ability. but world be damned, he's gonna try to have a normal day, at least, as normal a day as you can have when you're a hungry vigilante.





	to-do lists

To-Do: Get some fucking coffee. Jason Todd barreled down the street, freshly showered, and bopping tiredly to the song blasting through his headphones (hint: it was Hollaback Girl), as he made a beeline for he and Roy’s favorite diner. It was an ungodly hour of the day, 9am; the sun too high and the people too cheery (Jason had always hated morning people, he’d told himself, pushing from his mind that he too had been one before his little...incident). He’d already checked off the first items on his mental To-Do list-- those being putting an end to a local shit show calling itself a “drug ring”; a thorn that had been in Red Hood and Arsenal (Incorporated ™)’s collective side for weeks, and taking a goddamn shower. The drug ring ordeal was at 7am. Now they were dealt with, gone, poof, thanks to the joint-effort of he and Roy from two different locations in Central City. Roy had bugged the ring meeting room with voice-deploy bombs. Jay shot up the bad guys, and uttered a mighty “Krakatoa!” (inside joke) that triggered the bombs before grappling the fuck out of there as the building was blown to bits. Blasting the innards out of bad guys, surprisingly, gets real messy real quick; so naturally, Jason bitched and bitched until Roy agreed to pick him up and drop him off at the apartment for a quick shower. “Why do you even need a shower Jason?” Roy called from inside the idling car, “I know trying to pull off the stunning redhead look is daunting, especially when i’m right here, but i really feel like you own this one, within reason of course.” Jason scoffed and running a hand through his red tinged, blood matted hair as he leaned into the window of their noisy pickup from where he stood outside. He wondered how he ever fit in the vehicle before, seeing as Roy’s ego took up both the passenger seat and the truck bed. “Because, my dear dickhead, I refuse to enter a public eating establishment resembling either a violent unmasked vigilante or a ginger.” Roy rolled his eyes in that way of his, “Suit yourself kiddo, hope you like walkin’.” And with that he peeled off. They made such a great team, he and Roy, Jason nearly swooned just thinking about it. Though, that swoon may alternatively have been because of the promise of an Alpha Pancake Platter with a side of Extra Sausage Links that sizzled only two blocks down the street at he and Roy’s favorite joint, Jay couldn’t be sure. However, he was perfectly sure of the scream, when he heard it from the alleyway across the street. It was bloodcurdling, clearly female, and mildly annoying. Why, oh god, could one thing in his life not work out the way it was intended? He let out an aggravated huff of air as he crossed the street, grabbing his 32 caliber from his bag and loading it. He muttered profanities as he activated the helmet release button on the back of his neck, triggering the “emergency helmet necklace” Roy had made for him to come up and click around his face. The screams were close now as he ducked into the alley way. He edited his mental to-do list, lamenting as he scratched through his breakfast plans with Dear ole’ Roy. 

To-Do: Save the girl.

“Eat it, fatty!” She screamed triumphantly, weakly hurling a lawn chair at the beast’s head. Granted, it had done absolutely nothing where damage was concerned, but it had distracted the oozing, sack of shit-esque creature long enough for Jason to effectively lodge a barrage of bullets in its skull, swiftly and succinctly killing it; and for that he was grateful. The thing stood paralyzed for a few seconds, pupils blown wide, before shaking slightly and finally collapsing to the ground with a reverberating ‘thump’ and a cloud of sulfur-scented air. Jason’s lip curled, he really did not get paid enough. “Son of a--oh jesus fucking christ!” The girl’s slapped a hand over her mouth, reeling back in disgust and casting a (was that supposed to be intimidating?) glare at Jason. Her brows furrowed, and her blame for the smell clearly directed at him. “Um, wow, you’re welcome?” Jason’s hip jutted out in exaggerated annoyance, his head leering out at her condescendingly, and his hands motioning to the scene around them. A fire hydrant popped behind him. “Wow, thanks so much asshole, I don’t know what i would have done with myself today had I not ran into Dog Boner Mask Guy, I’m eternally grateful. Except for that i totally had that handled.” She rolled her eyes before turning to walk away, tiptoeing over the hunks of space monster carcass littering the ground. His eyebrows were caught crosswise underneath his mask, somewhere between a furrow and being shot up past his hairline. This chick was odd, no doubt about it. She was small, smaller than his towering 6’7 that is, with girlish, fiercely matted H/C hair and huge E/C eyes, he could tell even from a distance. Clad in a business skirt-suit, and garnished with the mouth of a sailor, comparable to Jason’s own. “Is that what handling a situation looks like? My “How to handle a situation” handbook must be out of date.” She huffed angrily at Jason’s snarky remark, the breath puffing up her rosy cheeks. “It may have looked like i was flailing around like a dumbass or something, but i was just waiting for my opening, before you so rudely--” “Saved your life? Yeah, my bad on that one lady” Having just fought (more like thrown a lawn chair and yelled at) a stinky space alien which now lie dead between them, and with Gotham’s very own Red Hood standing dumbfounded a short 10 feet away from her, she appeared to be more concerned with sassing her savior and violently scraping the sole of her purple flat shoe against the pavement to get some yellow space gunk off it than she was with a proper “thank you”. He watched her intently as she glared at the shoe and muttered angrily (and swear-ily, so so swear-ily) to herself. Jason found himself smiling slightly at the absurdity of this random girl, genuinely amused. It was the first time he’d felt something even mildly akin to emotion in a long time. He wanted to squash it. This, most definitely, was not on his to-do list. His comm buzzed in his ear, he flinched slightly, as if being knocked out of a trance by the sound of Roy chewing and smacking loudly. His flich caught the girl’s attention, forcing her to look at him finally, her eyebrow quirking slightly. Jason scoffed, turning away from the girls prying gaze, looking over his shoulder briefly to find that she had simply craned her neck to get a better look. “What is it, Royland?” Roy laughed heartily through whatever food clogged his mouth, probably pancakes, Jason’s law clenched. “Where the fuck are you Jay?! The flapjacks are flappin, the bacon is banging-” Roy’s comm crackled slightly as he shifted, probably to cup a hand around his lips, his voice dropping to a whisper, “and so are the waitresses.” Jason rolled his eyes, “I got tied up, I’ll be there in a minute dude, just, please don’t run up the bill before i get there? I wanna not have to spend my entire life’s savings on pancakes--i mean, it’d be worth it, but that’s beside the point.” “Obviously.” Roy replied matter-of-factly. The comm clicked silent.

“Do you….wanna get some coffee, maybe? With me and a friend?” Jason blurted confusedly, mostly at himself, as his back was still toward the random woman. Jason was not a blurter, not since he learned things worth not blurting. He was a highly trained professional, a killer, an emotionally detached, morally grey, pancake craving vigilante, and a foul mouthed cute girl of all things was capable of reducing him to a blurter? Maybe he’d have to rethink the legitimacy of Ra’s’ training.“You have friends?” She countered quickly, “I’m in awe” Jason let out a huff of a laugh, fighting the urge to look down while scratching his neck, just like some kind of fucking mercenary version of a Hardy Boys/Doogie Howser/Dick Grayson goodie two shoes knock off. He disgusted even himself. “Just one, he’s kind of a redneck.” She hummed thoughtfully at his response, before scrunching her nose playfully and nodding solemnly, finally standing to her full height. “Makes sense.” She said simply. “So...is that a yes?” Jason blurted once again. Bad habits start and die hard, apparently. She hesitated, her eyes narrowing as she slowly drug them down his person, surveying him, a smirk on her lips. Her E/C orbs were trained somewhere south of Jason’s face, when she casually and adeptly noted, “You don't even know my name”. There was no malice to her tone, as there had been before, only playfulness and intrigue, her eyes snapped back up to Jason’s- well his mask at least, she missed his eyes by a fraction of an inch-- and he began to sweat slightly. Jason let out a breathy laugh from underneath the helmet, shifting nervously on his feet, and trying desperately to not look like the dorky teenager he felt like. “Yeah well,” A nonchalant shrug, “You don’t know mine either.”


End file.
